The old me was funnier

Dave and I were having dinner tonight, and he mentioned my old Home Page of Terror. I still have no idea why I called it that, but anyway here it is. It was my Uni webpage. It’s amazing how much of an Internet time-capsule it is; a midi-file playing on the front page, animated gifs, under-construction signs, ridiculous overuse of hideous textured backgrounds – how I’ve missed you all!

See also:

  • Exploding Toilet Productions – a games company I formed with Matt
  • A demo page I made for a school project – shows a degree of restraint not evident anywhere else in the site
  • My cousin John’s baby Sacha! So cute.
  • A site I made for a friend’s band called Menagerie. So… textured… and who publishes sound bites in WAV anymore? Even in an age when people are walk around dribbling multi-gigabyte hard drives from their trouser legs, nobody uses lossless audio.
  • Dan’s Home Page of Microsoft. I got on the bash-MS train earlier than many.
  • The old Baobhan Sidhe homepage! My friends’ band. One of the first pages on the ‘net whose content was entirely contained between two <CENTER> tags.
  • Finally, lest my embarrassment not be complete, I present to you the first stand-up monologue I ever performed. Take that, Goths! You nerdy outsiders from society who take on distinct attributes as a way of forming a strong and insular “tribe”! I mock your search for comfort in the company of like-minded friends, and your arbitrary collective behaviours!
  • Interestingly, my friend Ashley’s home page is still up at Yoyo. And it still has pictures I drew in it, including the completely stupid Memoirs of a Visible Man.

Well, that was a blast from the past. Like a giant, non-standards-compliant fart of hand-coded HTML.

What? You want more? Well how about my even earlier web site? Frames! The horror! For those who are interested, the bulbously phong-shaded logo was created using the extrude tool in Imagine 2.0 on an Amiga 1200 + 68030 @ 25MHz + 8Meg Fast RAM.

So, you saw the frames and you think you can handle some more hard-ass wayback-style Internet? Well, set your Flux Capacitors to 1994 and hit 88 as we view the very first Home Page of Terror! WRITTEN IN vi!

Published
Categorized as General

By Dan Walmsley

Dan Walmsley

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