The old me was funnier

Dave and I were having dinner tonight, and he mentioned my old Home Page of Terror. I still have no idea why I called it that, but anyway here it is. It was my Uni webpage. It’s amazing how much of an Internet time-capsule it is; a midi-file playing on the front page, animated gifs, under-construction signs, ridiculous overuse of hideous textured backgrounds – how I’ve missed you all!

See also:

  • Exploding Toilet Productions – a games company I formed with Matt
  • A demo page I made for a school project – shows a degree of restraint not evident anywhere else in the site
  • My cousin John’s baby Sacha! So cute.
  • A site I made for a friend’s band called Menagerie. So… textured… and who publishes sound bites in WAV anymore? Even in an age when people are walk around dribbling multi-gigabyte hard drives from their trouser legs, nobody uses lossless audio.
  • Dan’s Home Page of Microsoft. I got on the bash-MS train earlier than many.
  • The old Baobhan Sidhe homepage! My friends’ band. One of the first pages on the ‘net whose content was entirely contained between two <CENTER> tags.
  • Finally, lest my embarrassment not be complete, I present to you the first stand-up monologue I ever performed. Take that, Goths! You nerdy outsiders from society who take on distinct attributes as a way of forming a strong and insular “tribe”! I mock your search for comfort in the company of like-minded friends, and your arbitrary collective behaviours!
  • Interestingly, my friend Ashley’s home page is still up at Yoyo. And it still has pictures I drew in it, including the completely stupid Memoirs of a Visible Man.

Well, that was a blast from the past. Like a giant, non-standards-compliant fart of hand-coded HTML.

What? You want more? Well how about my even earlier web site? Frames! The horror! For those who are interested, the bulbously phong-shaded logo was created using the extrude tool in Imagine 2.0 on an Amiga 1200 + 68030 @ 25MHz + 8Meg Fast RAM.

So, you saw the frames and you think you can handle some more hard-ass wayback-style Internet? Well, set your Flux Capacitors to 1994 and hit 88 as we view the very first Home Page of Terror! WRITTEN IN vi!

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